Show of hands...do you let your 5th grader skip school to study for his 9 week cumulative math test? His father is advocating a day home from school (with me as the enforcer and coach of said studying). And apparently I'm rude for disagreeing and having an opinion. The problem is multifactorial; a) he missed 2 days of school last week because he was "sick" and too "sick" to study b) he is in DC for the inauguration this weekend and he legitimately hasn't had any time to review his math (his teacher graciously gave him an extension on completion so he can finish on Wednesday when he returns to school) c) he has no knowledge of what might be covered on the test and denies existence of study guide or any kind of review that might have been provided by the same gracious teacher who has twice postponed his tests d) no amount of cramming is going to fix his lack of effort.
My husband is nervous and doesn't want our kid to fail, which is admirable, but I kind of feel like the 5th grader has dug himself a pit and to rescue him at this point would be robbing him of a valuable lesson, which as my friend Vanessa calls, "getch yo head outta yo ass, son!"
Of the 3 children this is definitely the kid who requires healthy doses of tough love. Otherwise, charming as he is, he is prone to sloth-fullness.
The other issue is how to communicate with husband so he doesn't just here "screech, screech, screech" from the evil bitch mom/wife. Compounding his anxiety over our son's math test debacle is his overwhelming tiredness from chaperoning the middle school field trip to DC and his lack of preparation for his own presentation this Thursday. Wrongly, he assumed he'd have time to work on his power point presentation. He is the one who needs to play hookey from work this Wednesday so he can prepare his slides.
My biggest problem is timing and sensitivity. If I hadn't been such a bull in the china shop when he called, I would have responded differently to the exhaustion and anxiety in his voice and words. Instead I tried to discuss reason with an insanely tired man.
So, that's it for the night...survey says a) yes he stays home or b) he goes to school?
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Tough one! Better to fail and learn the lesson in 5th grade than in middle school, especially if he's not counting on A's to get into said middle school.
ReplyDeleteThe harder part is to get exhausted spouse to listen to reason after aforementioned bull in a china shop conversation. I've had the same situation time and again. You can't reason with an exhausted spouse.
You made your case quite nicely in this blog, why not send it to him?