The start of the school year is always more stressful for me than for my kids. I just wish they'd realize this. Tonite was almost the last straw and it's only the 3rd week of school. Either I'm a bad mom or my kids are over-demanding little f*cks. I already finished elementary school. I don't see why I should be subjected to 1st, 3rd and 5th grade homework all over again. It's the homework that is sucking the life source right out of me. It should not take a 9 year old 3 and a half hours to finish his homework. He should be able to get it done in an hour. Hour and a half, tops. It's the hemming and hawing that takes more time than the actual homework. And the hand holding that he wants. Good God in heaven above, I don't have the time or interest to validate every single answer as he completes his work. Child number two isn't much better. His initial attestation that he had no homework was disproved by his father at about 5 o'clock this evening when suddenly he recovered from his amnesia. Rather than just sit down and do it he commenced with all sorts of whining and moaning and gnashing of teeth. It wasn't fair that his 6 year old sister had easier homework, he was too hungry, he didn't understand it, he didn't want to read the paragraph...At this point I had to leave the room. I could no longer be physically present in the same room as my children. I didn't care if they finished their work or fed it to the dog, I was done. Good or bad, their dad came to the rescue and he force fed my middle kid just to get some calories in him and then he went thru each and every sentence that he had to answer. My 6 year old is by far the easiest. I don't know if it's because she has 6 year old homework, it's her personality or the fact that she has two X chromosomes, but she can do her work all by herself without mommy holding her hand and telling her how wonderful she is.
Someone needs to tell me, am I just enabling my 2 boys? Are their future mates going to hate me b/c I molly-coddled them their whole lives or is this just normal parent stuff? Do I make them do it themselves even if it takes 3 and a half f*cking hours or do I sit with them and do it for them just so I can not be a psychotic lunatic at the end of the night? What is the right formula? Do they do their work as soon as they get home or after they've run around. There has been no running around since school started and they desperately need it.
To make matters worse, I tried to start my no caffeine, no alcohol, low carb diet today. If there is anyting that can turn a girl into an uber-b*tch, it's lack of the 3 aforementioned food groups. Someone send me the answers please. Or validate my plight. Or send me an electronic b*tch slap to gather some perspective. Gonna go break my own rules and eat some ice cream.
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Monday, July 5, 2010
The Great Worm Escape
Torrential downpours from Huricane Alex resulted in some minor flooding on our street. Nothing too bad, mainly just a nuisance. The inch or two of water in my neighbor's garage brought a whole battalion of earthworms along with it. I sent my 3 kids down there in a humanitarian effort to save the worms from certain death and to save my neighbor from having to do the chore herself. Their new home was to be my compost heap. The thought of dozens of new earthworms working for me for free made me almost as excited as the prospect of a new bag or a new pair of shoes. Really, I would be the one to benefit from this transaction while my neighbor, my kids and the worms were each thinking they were the winners.
I was at work all day yesterday; 12 hrs in the emergency room leaving the kids in the capable hands of their father and the babysitter. I had been on my way to work when my neighbor told me about her uninvited guests and I offered up my children as her earthworm removers. I called home and instructed my babysitter and the eldest on their task. Simple.
Apparently the actual harvesting of the worms was a success. Whole fist fulls were scooped up to everyone's delight. My middle kid was quoted as saying "this is awesome!" As they squished between his fingers he assured them of their hope and their future; "Don't worry, I'm taking you to a happy place!" Little did he or his invertebrate friends realize that this was just a foreshadowing of what was to come.
Rather than put them in the outdoor compost heap, my middle kid collected the 50+ earthworms from his brother and sister and brought them to the climate controlled environment of the indoor compost pale (for scraps). This might have been okay were it not for the ventilation (read: lid left slightly ajar) that was so thoughtfully provided by my son.
When Lee & the kids finally got home at the end of the day they walked into the worst earthworm genocide in history! Little earthworm corpses were everywhere: the counter top, the sink, the floor. Dozens and dozens of fallen soldiers; women and children, grandparents, aunts & uncles. All of them gone! The search and rescue team began their recovery mission but there were no survivors. The bodies were thrown into a mass grave and all but forgotten. Until....
Late that evening, after the kids were in bed and Lee had told me about the great earthworm escape, we were cleaning the kitchen and I opened the lid to the pail to drop in some scraps and out came the stench of rotting flesh. The souls of those worms had come back to haunt us in the form of the most offensive odor imaginable!
I shouldn't judge, but I will! Two adults in charge of 3 kids whose cummulative age doesn't come near either of theirs and I come home to the smell of rotting earthworm carcasses! I think we might be able to market a new air freshner.....
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
I was at work all day yesterday; 12 hrs in the emergency room leaving the kids in the capable hands of their father and the babysitter. I had been on my way to work when my neighbor told me about her uninvited guests and I offered up my children as her earthworm removers. I called home and instructed my babysitter and the eldest on their task. Simple.
Apparently the actual harvesting of the worms was a success. Whole fist fulls were scooped up to everyone's delight. My middle kid was quoted as saying "this is awesome!" As they squished between his fingers he assured them of their hope and their future; "Don't worry, I'm taking you to a happy place!" Little did he or his invertebrate friends realize that this was just a foreshadowing of what was to come.
Rather than put them in the outdoor compost heap, my middle kid collected the 50+ earthworms from his brother and sister and brought them to the climate controlled environment of the indoor compost pale (for scraps). This might have been okay were it not for the ventilation (read: lid left slightly ajar) that was so thoughtfully provided by my son.
When Lee & the kids finally got home at the end of the day they walked into the worst earthworm genocide in history! Little earthworm corpses were everywhere: the counter top, the sink, the floor. Dozens and dozens of fallen soldiers; women and children, grandparents, aunts & uncles. All of them gone! The search and rescue team began their recovery mission but there were no survivors. The bodies were thrown into a mass grave and all but forgotten. Until....
Late that evening, after the kids were in bed and Lee had told me about the great earthworm escape, we were cleaning the kitchen and I opened the lid to the pail to drop in some scraps and out came the stench of rotting flesh. The souls of those worms had come back to haunt us in the form of the most offensive odor imaginable!
I shouldn't judge, but I will! Two adults in charge of 3 kids whose cummulative age doesn't come near either of theirs and I come home to the smell of rotting earthworm carcasses! I think we might be able to market a new air freshner.....
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Sunday, January 24, 2010
New Year, New me
I'm supposed to be working but there is no work to be done. So, I've gotta find other ways to make 12 hours go faster. I have a window and it's a beautiful day.
Why is it so easy to be fallible? Most of us are struggling to be a better version of our selves and it is exactly that, a struggle. I think I just have what Lee refers to as, post-alcohol depression. A few too many glasses of wine, some conversational indiscretion and I'm reevaluating my entire exsistence. I'm too old to deal with the I security that a hangover brings. It was fun drinking that wine last nite, but today I'm paying the price. The sad part is that I really want a big, greasy hamburger but I know if I actually eat one my self esteem will plummet even lower than it its present state. I should pray or something but I think even God is probably disgusted with me right now.
Well I'd better get back to work.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
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