I've been thinking about this one for several days now. Every time I think about sitting down to write I just can't do it; it's too overwhelming. How do I, in one post, share my gratitude for all the women in my life? It's too much and there are too many.
From conception I've been surrounded by strong, fierce women: my mother, my grandmothers, my aunts, my cousins, my friends, my colleagues, my steps, my MILs, my SILs, my nieces, my daughter. I try to demonstrate friendship to my daughter. I hope she can see it and I hope she never takes her female relationships for granted.
Over the years I've lost contact with so many women with whom I was once very close, but not for one second does that diminish the impact they have had on my life, the magnitude of their effect. A couple of months ago I was having a conversation with my boss, a man for whom I have great respect and admiration, and I made the passing comment of how time goes so quickly and his observation was this...the denominator gets bigger.
When I was young I would mourn the loss of friendships as though it was a light that had been extinguished but as my denominator gets bigger I realize that these fading friendships are more akin to a star that still continues to burn bright, giving off light long past its expiration date. If Annie and I could sit and flip through the photo album of my life I'd take her on a journey and introduce her to all the women who have given me pieces of themselves.
I don't feel the same sense of urgency with my boys. They will get through life unscathed. But Annie, please listen:
It's imperative you comprehend the magnitude of sisterhood. Perhaps because your father and I didn't provide you with a sister I am compelled to impart this wisdom to you; cherish the women in your life. Nurture friendships and even after they seem to no longer have any life in them, put them on the shelf with all your best trophies. Give them a place of honor. Teach your daughters to stand shoulder to shoulder with the other women in their lives and tell them, often they will have to lean on these women for strength or stand on their shoulders because they think they just might not make it another day. Give the gift of time. Your house can wait, your laundry can wait, groceries can wait but relationships happen in the midst of the mundane. Drink coffee with your 90 year old neighbor, watch the young mother's baby so she can run an errand, sit with your friend during her doctor's appointment. In the blink of an eye it will be gone and you are never going to regret another unfolded basket of laundry but you will regret not spending the time because there is no way to get it back.
The denominator gets bigger but it is not infinite. Spend your time wisely. It is a gift. Live. Love. Cherish.
